Winter driving...

It has happened to all of us...
You're driving along just minding your own business, when all of a sudden --
without any warning, some Dick in a Truck pulls out right in front of you...

Happy Winter Driving Season! ...
Thanks to Danny and Monica for this one. Two great minds separated by 1500 miles, in sync. There's something beautiful about that.

Snow

You have been chosen to receive the blessing of the Snow Fairy.

The Snow Fairy can bring you good fortune for one whole year.

May YOU be blessed by his good deeds.....

Follow the snowflake trail.


















Thanks to Lisa S. for this one.
Click image to enlarge.

How to lick a bowl

in case you've forgotten...




Thanks to Danny Brownawell for this one.
Click images to enlarge.

Flat Tire

Thanks to A.C.R. for this one.

I had a flat tire yesterday, so I got out of the car and opened the trunk.

I took out my cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic.

They look so life like you wouldn't believe it!

They are exposing their nude bodies to the approaching drivers.

Cars start slowing down, looking at my lifelike men, which made it safer for me to work at the side of the road.

Traffic starts backing up. Everybody is honking their horns and waving like crazy.

It wasn't long before a state trooper�pulled up behind me.

'What's going on here?'
'My car has a flat tire,' I said calmly.

'Well, what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?
I couldn't believe that he didn't know.... So I told him.

'Helloooooo, those are my Emergency Flashers.'

Click image to enlarge.

MadTV - Wizard of Oz (Alternate Ending)

Courtesy of Mark H. Thanks mucho!

Presented by: DanOLGB

Full frontal...mmmmm

To computer geeks, this is the equivalent of a red hot centerfold in a tony stroke book.

Think Playboy.

Now, try to control yourselves kiddies.

Yo, M. Thanks for permission to publish. Shall we give them the rear view also?
ROTFLMAO

Click image to enlarge.

Thanksgiving Day, it's almost here again...

Turkey preparation lesson. Pay attention!

Politix by Palin

According to a wag speaking on the radio, she should have called it Going Rouge.
Sent to me by my sister, Alma Rands. Thanks sweetie!

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition .

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer,unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right ? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

12. Glibido: All talk and no action.

13. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

14. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the lot:

17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Japanese error messages -- in haiku

I got this from a friend, Colleen Chun.

In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft

error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku Poetry has strict

construction rules: Each poem has only 17 Syllables - 5 syllables in

the first line, 7 in the second, 5 in the Third. They are used to

communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning,

and powerful insight through extreme brevity.

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The Web site you seek

Cannot be located, but

Countless more exist.

--------------------------------------------

Chaos reigns within.

Reflect, repent, and reboot.

Order shall return.

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Program aborting

Close all that you have worked on.

You ask far too much.

--------------------------------------------

Windows NT crashed.

I am the Blue Screen of Death.

No one hears your screams.

--------------------------------------------

Yesterday it worked.

Today it is not working.

Windows is like that.

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Your file was so big.

It might be very useful.

But now it is gone.

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Stay the patient course.

Of little worth is your ire.

The network is down.

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A crash reduces

Your expensive computer

To a simple stone.

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Three things are certain

Death, taxes and lost data.

Guess which has occurred.

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You step in the stream,

But the water has moved on.

This page is not here.

--------------------------------------------

Out of memory.

We wish to hold the whole sky,

But we never will.

--------------------------------------------

Having been erased,

The document you're seeking

Must now be retyped.

--------------------------------------------

Serious error.

All shortcuts have disappeared.

Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

--------------------------------------------

I ate your Web page.

Forgive me; it was tasty

And tart on my tongue